Nonsense and Rambling

I had hoped, when I awoke, that the poem of my dreams would have found me in my slumber, crept into my dreams, and possessed my flesh until I pinned this verse. None of this happened. Only visions of your reflection bouncing off of mirrors find me before waking, and reminders that I should have never been so human stalk me after dreaming.

Platonic thoughts turned into matters of the heart, when they should have stayed “I am just thinking with my penis”. I caused my mind to become your home, made my reality bend to your will; turned my mouth into a spout of nonsense and rambling, and only received deceit.

I should have expected everything to die off into nothingness, especially infatuation, but you were supposed to be different. I have carried everything you own, and your baggage seemed to be the lightest thing you had. I guess the weight on your shoulder was too much for me to take, so you leave me in the same boat of which you were once captain & commander.

I am not one prone to fits of naivety. You were not supposed to lie to me. We were happy. Then you went and fucked it up hoping someone else could be happy, ruining all. Now I sit here unfeeling, wondering if you ever smile from your heart. I lost all I wanted because you wanted something else. You left me in the darkness, yelling I love you, and you had the audacity to walk away…saying that you love me too.

Still, to enlighten me with more dishonesty, then with drunken confession, you are the reason some women never tell the police. Love can make you do crazy things, but for you to lie…about that? Really? I hated myself for telling you the truth. I still die.

The radio has not spoken to me since those months. I no longer hear your voice when I imagine happiness. None of my possessions reek of American Spirits, Sephora products, nor your salty teardrops. All I have is better music taste, and a story I can never tell.

An apology does not fix an “I love you”; though, it may get you into heaven. An “I love you” would be nice, but I will never hear you speak those words again. I told you, I love you. I told you I was only temporary. I told you only nonfiction. I told no one else.